HOBBITON—Celebrations are underway in the Shire after news that “Third Breakfast” has been officially added to the Shire’s list of traditional meals.
Billed as the “one breakfast to rule them all,” the Third Breakfast campaign was the brainchild of foodie and local hero Peregrin Took. “We’ve had one breakfast, yes. And even a second breakfast. But what about second SECOND breakfast?” He paused for a long while after this, though it was unclear whether this was for applause or because he was daydreaming about a full plate of food.
Henceforth, the day the meal was officially approved (it was already observed by many Shire residents) shall be celebrated every year as a Hobbit Holiday.
We attempted to reach more Hobbits for comment, but they were all too busy preparing for their upcoming Third Breakfasts the next day. Plans for further expansions of the meal schedule are also reportedly already in development, with “Evening Tea” potentially planned for the lull between Dinner and Supper and a Second Supper also being considered.
Appendices
The Pope, the Wizard, and the AI—last month Pope Leo XIV quoted J.R.R. Tolkien in his Encyclical on AI! The quote is from The Return of the King, where Gandalf counsels the Captains of the West that “It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till.” Pope Leo invites his readers to ponder how they can apply this principle: “The civilization of love will not arise from a single or spectacular gesture, but from the sum total of small and steadfast acts of fidelity that serve as a bulwark against dehumanization. For this reason, it is worthwhile pausing to reflect on some aspects of how we, each in our own way, can cooperate in building the civilization of love.” A beautiful thought, and one that I will certainly be writing more on eventually!
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The Luncheon Guild, however, vociferously protested the move, saying that too much breakfast would, in effect, put them out of business.