👁️ Flaming Eye of Sauron Miraculously Cured! Dark Lord Evil No More!

HOBBITON HERALD #003: Middle-earth is saved! Plus: read to the end for bonus Extended Edition content!

BARAD-DÛR—On the brink of ushering all the lands of Middle-earth into a second darkness, the Former Dark Lord Sauron has apparently had a change of heart eye. After two halflings were captured trying to infiltrate Mount Doom, Sauron had them brought to his fortress of Barad-dûr, where a series of completely unanticipated events led to him renouncing his evil ways.

“I guess I must have still had the phial in my pocket that the Lady Galadriel gave to Mister Frodo from when I faced that horrible spider,” gardener and adventurer Samwise Gamgee told reporters. “Well that Dark Lord fella, he was threatening Mister Frodo with all kinds of nasty things for trying to destroy his precious Ring and I, well I had just had enough of that. I did the only think I could think of and chucked that phial at him. It must have opened midair, because some of the water from the Lady’s mirror spilled out and landed right into that big old ugly eye of his.”

The application of the water from Lothlórien infused with the light of Eärendil’s star and the very Silmarils themselves instantly cleared up the irritation and swelling in the Great Eye, resulting in an instant change of mood for Sauron. “He actually seemed like a decent sort of fella after that,” added Sam. “He apologized to us and sent us on our way, asking if we could perhaps pass on a message of thanks from him when we saw Galadriel next.”

At the time of this writing, Galadriel was seen on horseback in route to Mordor. We attempted to reach out to Celebrorn to get to the bottom of why, but he would say nothing other than repeating the word “Halbrand” over and over under his breath while clenching and unclenching his fists and pacing back and forth.

Appendices

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Extended Edition

Speak ‘friend’ and become a member of the Extended Edition to read the rest of today’s post, where I share a bit more about the origins of this piece and some of the behind-the-scenes details about it! (Think of it as a director’s commentary of sorts)