J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis Nitpick Over Names
Another Round of Tolkien vs Lewis! PLUS an epic poem on Fingolfin's Duel with Morgoth
Tolkien and Lewis Nitpick Over Names
LEWIS: Tollers, something has been bothering me lately and I’d like your input on it. Now, I can see how this wizard who betrays the forces of Good would make an excellent ally for the Dark Lord Sauron…
TOLKIEN: Thank you. Glad you agree, Jack.
LEWIS: …but there’s just one thing. What is his name again?
TOLKIEN: Saruman.
LEWIS: …Saruman?
TOLKIEN: Yes. What of it?
LEWIS: Sauron’s ally’s name is Saruman?
TOLKIEN: Yes.
LEWIS: Huh. Sounds a lot like Sauron.
TOLKIEN: [flustered] Maybe that’s why he allied himself with Sauron!1
LEWIS: hahaha, that’s alright, Tollers, not every name can be a winner!
TOLKIEN: You’re one to talk.
LEWIS: Now what precisely is that supposed to mean?
TOLKIEN: You know exactly what I’m getting at, Clive.
LEWIS: *raising his hands to his ears* How dare you! You know I prefer Jack!
TOLKIEN: Clive. Staples.
LEWIS: I will not take this sort of talk from a man who has three names and yet insists that we use none of them, JOHN RONALD REUL!
TOLKIEN: You know, your name is so horrible that you almost deserve it.
LEWIS: You have wounded me, friend! I simply can’t believe that—say…that gives me an idea! I’ve been stuck on how to start my latest book and think that would be just the perfect sort of opening line to introduce the main child. Oh he’s a boorish one, that one.2
TOLKIEN: Another book about that enchanted world containing a frightful mishmash of mythologies, eh Jack? Well, what’s this one about?
LEWIS: Oh don’t worry about it, Tollers. It’s Narnia business! bahahaha!
TOLKIEN: Ohh go stuff yourself in a wardrobe, Jack.
This week’s newsletter is sponsored by Wicked Warlock — handmade scented candles that transport you to any of your favorite fantasy realms.
The transformation began immediately: no sooner had I opened the box than I found myself whisked away to a magical world by the aroma spilling out to fill the room.
And I hadn’t even lit the candles yet!
Whether you’re marathoning The Lord of the Rings extended editions, enjoying a cozy evening with a fantasy book and hot cup of tea, or living out your own adventure with friends in a Dungeons & Dragons session, Wicked Warlock candles turn any fantasy-related entertainment into a truly immersive experience.
I’ve personally used the candles while working on many a newsletter, lit them while making my way through The Hobbit trilogy recently (Dragon’s Lair was especially appropriate during The Desolation of Smaug!), and brought them along to my D&D group. They literally and metaphorically shone in each circumstance! The scents are strong and pleasant, the packaging is splendid, and the quality would catch even a dragon’s greedy gaze.
Get up to 20% OFF Wicked Warlock’s best-selling bundles →
From the Jokien with Tolkien Community
And now I have a special treat for you all. You may recall that when introducing Through the Wardrobe I made a call for submissions to Jokien with Tolkien. In one of the earliest responses, subscriber David Graham sent along this wonderful version of the duel between the high Elvish king, Fingolfen and the original Dark Lord, Melkor known as Morgoth, which he has translated into epic verse.
I enjoyed reading David’s composition and found it to be a worthy tribute to the legendary event it recounts!
Fingolfen, Fey and Fell
by David Graham
Fingolfen rode across the blackened plain of Anfauglith Beleriand was lost, The Noldor broken, Astride Rochallor, his life to be spent. No brand ‘ere burned brighter than the high king’s eyes. No foe could bar his path, None would test his wrath, To Angband hence, alone he went. Some say they saw the Valar that day, A hunter god, the mighty Oromë, Riding to battle, Coming to slay. Upon the threshold of Morgoth’s stronghold, Fingolfen’s challenge Echoed in all the dim dells, The darkened cells Of fortress Angband for all to hear. Morgoth paused before his next step. Yet fight he must, He could not trust His slaves held by fear. Morgoth rose from the depths. His minions held their breath. To battle hence, A fight to the death. Fingolfen, fleet, with cunning feet, Morgoth, a tower of power beyond defeat. Elf wielded Ringle, Valar smote with Grond. And on and on the fight went on. Three times the Dark Lord struck, seven times he was stricken, Then the Elf tripped on the ground, Melkor’s foot crushed him down, But dying he stabbed the foot that tread upon. No dirge of the Orcs, No lament of the Elves; Too great the grief They kept to themselves. After Fingolfen was broken and dead, Morgoth raised him up above his head To defile the spoil for which he had bled- ‘Til Thorondor the eagle raked his face instead. Some say they heard the Valar that day, The wind of mighty Manwë Lifting the wings of Thorondor the eagle As he bore Fingolfen’s fallen form away. A cairn for Fingolfen where he was lain, A secret in a secret vale it would remain Until treachery bought the doom of Gondolin And Melkor known as Morgoth triumphed once again. Some say that Fingolfen died in vain; In the face of death one should restrain. But though the fell king fell, fey, Greater was the foul foe’s pain!
Appendices
For more Tolkien and Lewis sketches, be sure to check out previous entries in this series:
Interested in submitting your article or poem for consideration to be shared in Jokien with Tolkien? Or interested in sponsoring the newsletter? Email me at jrrjokien@jrrjokien.com with your ideas or inquiry!
Special shout-out and thank you to Robin R, Greg S, and Nick R, who all upgraded to a paid subscription to the Jokien with Tolkien: Extended Edition this week! This edition of Jokien with Tolkien is free to read but cost time and effort to create, so if you regularly receive value from it, please consider a paid subscription here on Substack, Patreon, or throwing some change in the tip jar.
Want to pledge your sword, bow, or axe and join the Extended Edition? Hit the button below for more details and to get 10% off:
⚔️ Join 7,500+ subscribers in the Jokien with Tolkien community: Subscribe here
🏹 Chosen as a Substack Featured Publication in 2023
🪓 Official merch available in the Jokien with Tolkien store
❌ All typos are totally on purpose
🔗 Links may be affiliate, which is a free-to-you way to support this newsletter where I earn a small commission on items you purchase
🗃️ Can’t wait till next Thursday for more content? View the archive
🎯 Interested in sponsoring this newsletter like the above ad? Email me at JRRJokien@JRRJokien.com
Yes, this is a “your Dentist’s name is Crentist?” reference from the American version of The Office
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, book 3 in The Chronicles of Narnia, opens with the line, “There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.” Eustace as a character generally and also specifically with regards to his name is often interpreted as Lewis writing about his behavior as a lad and his distaste for his own name. There is, however, no indication that Tolkien inspired the phrasing of the line…until now! haha
Enjoyed the lay.
These back and forth posts between the two are such fun.